Sex on a calendar, that's what your marriage has come to. And your wife, bored of life with you and bored of sex with you, will do anything to get out of it without taking the blame.

She knows you like her all prim and proper so she decides to be exactly the opposite. She pretends to be excited about calendar sex but there is a mocking tone in her voice.

She really puts the deal to rest with lots of huge wet belly burps. She tells you she is thirsty and after finishing her bubbli water she will join you in the bedroom but she is destroying your boner every time she blasts a big siren belch right in your face.

Then to make sure she gets out of this awful vanilla routine she leans over and cuts a huge fart.

Schedule a jerk off session, unless you like hot wet burps and farts.

Burps and farts for your boring dick

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